Findhorn gave me an opportunity to stop and reflect on how I wanted to take my life and business forward. A 5-day retreat on “Becoming Yourself” tucked away in a remote part of Scotland near Inverness. A welcoming space surrounded by nature – forests, rolling sand dunes, pink heather, beaches and a community where people stop and have a chat in no hurry to get back to their desks! It enabled me to reflect on the flow of giving and receiving. With teachers rich in embodying their truth and sharing their wisdom, I saw that coming off the hamster wheel was not just about having a holiday break but questioning old habits, beliefs and ways of working that we so often regard as “commonplace” or “everyday”.
A month ago, I ran a Resilience workshop for a leadership team in a fast- growing financial sector. I was struck by how driven and committed they were, how they cared about their projects, each other and the success of the business. And yet, how so many of them were struggling to find that all too elusive balance between giving of themselves and taking care of their needs. They had lost much of the joy in their lives as they were so often exhausted. Working long hours can so quickly become normalised and there is often very little left when we come home for those nearest and dearest to us.
Taking time for ourselves must be the biggest gift to rejuvenate and revitalise our well -being – the cornerstone of resilience. When we lose our vibrant energy and zest for life, everything becomes so much harder and effortful– that customer complaint, difficult conversation, negotiation, feedback, performance issues or a sudden new change of direction your company chose to take. It then plays into your inner critic voice and you fall prey to the I am “not good enough”, “clever enough”, “worthy enough” or the “imposter” waiting to be found out. Our confidence gets knocked and ability to thrive and be resilient gets hugely impacted.
- How often do you put yourself on top of your list?
- How often do you prioritise joy over working hard?
- How often do you say Yes to others and No to yourself?
It is so easy to continue being stoic because of the high bar we place on ourselves, the desire to please or not disappoint others. But at what cost?
Resilience does not have to mean another to do list of activities. Most of which we are aware of.
It is the space you give yourself to slow down and listen to that quiet voice asking for a 5-minute break, a stretch in between long meetings, watching the birds in your garden, walking the dog, or laughing with a friend as you enjoy lunch in the park not at your desk.
We don’t need to spend hours building “resilience” but we do need to give ourselves the permission to stop from time to time, to breathe and listen to your innate wisdom guiding you back to your natural resilience. The space where so you can become more of yourself to cope with life’s challenges.
So, the next time you find yourself rushing, pushing or trying too hard, stop and ask yourself – what small step can I take today to take care of myself so I can not just go through life but grow though it and enjoy the journey along the way.